hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
