well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
