I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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