I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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