Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
