hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
