You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i would punch a child for taco bell
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
