Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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