hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
