I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she looked like the before picture.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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