If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
