but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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