I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
