if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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