If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
