hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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