Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
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