Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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