I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I got her a Nickelback box set.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
