Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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