You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
one might say we're banned from that church
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
