They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
