now i know why i became what i already was.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
i've created a new STD.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
