The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
