i need an iv and a liver transplant
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
