Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
