if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
