I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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