Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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