is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
