My room smells like vodka and shame
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
