We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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