Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
