I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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