we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
