Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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