So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
vagina is talking i cant
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
