I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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