Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
