cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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