Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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