Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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