my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
