oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
