Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
