nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
