Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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