God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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