I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
