try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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