Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
