Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Do vagina's smell?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
