Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
