I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
