Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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