I cockslap morals
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
