I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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