Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
