Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I am naked and annoyed.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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