I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
