mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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