help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm too high and old for this...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
