Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
