You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
