I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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