did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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