I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize