How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
