She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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